part 18: (sabreen)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

But miraculously the baby had made it.. Much to beth and sams dismay, Within a week she was already doing well..

She was moved into the nursery and taken out of the NICU…

Beth had already gone home the following day. And had insisted that the nurses give the baby a bottle. She wasn’t willing to breastfeed…

“Dear.. Its important. Even if its just for the first few days. The first few drops of mothers milk is vital for the baby. We encourage breastfeeding here.” The nurse had said pleading with beth to not deprive her baby of this great gift..

“Listen here!” She said pointing a finger at the nurse. “Its not my first child and I don’t need you to tell me what I should and should not do.. I refuse to breastfeed.. I just won’t do it. So give that child a bottle or let her starve.”

“Okay..” The nurse sighed and gave in. “Its your choice. We can’t force you then..”

Little did they know that the reason that beth refused to breastfeed was because she didn’t want any bond with the child at all and also because if they gave her a bottle, she wouldn’t have to come in everyday and tire herself out by feeding the baby.. In this way, beth only returned a week later when she was called by the hospital to say that the baby had been taken out of the NICU.

Beth and sam unwillingly trudged to the hospital along with tony and alice.

The kids had been eager to see their little sister, but hadn’t had the opportunity up until then. They were terribly sad when beth returned from the hospital without the baby.

Two days after the baby was placed back into the hospital nursery, she was then given a discharge.

The couple brought their baby home but didn’t care to bath her or feed her. She was left all alone on the little mattress that lay next to their bed.

It was alice who always seemed interested in this little being. She would lull the baby to sleep. Play with her tiny fingers and it was alice who started to call her little sister ‘sabreen’.

2 weeks after her birth, her parents had still not bothered to give her a name.

Beth would become terribly angry and frustrated at the mere whimper of the tiny human. She would immediately walk out of the room and when the screams became louder, she would throw the newborn baby on the bed in utter frustration…

Alice and tony took it upon themselves to read the instructions on the tin of formula which sam wasn’t very eager to buy. They would prepare the milk for her a few times a day and feed it to baby sabreen.

Slowly but surely this became their escape. Their happiness. So much so that they couldn’t wait to get home from school everyday just to see to sabreen.

They would prepare her bath for her, change her soiled diapers, feed her and play with her all the time.

Beth or sam didn’t complain.. Atleast they were relieved of their responsibilities to the child.

They never bothered to bond with her. And it grew them further apart as a couple.

At a mere age of 10 and 12, tony and alice had to be parents to their sister.

The fact that sabreen had a slight cleft on the right side of her lip which made her look like she had a permanent smile on her gorgeous face, didn’t help the situation much.

To beth she was the ugliest duckling she’d ever seen. And it was a disgrace to have given birth to something so imperfect.

Sabreen was a mistake. She was a disaster and she was a punishment from God for who knows what.

And so little sabreen grew up under the care of her brother tony and sister alice. She grew terribly fond of them and waited everyday for their return from school.

Being alone with beth everyday was torturous. Literally.

Beth would purposely drop things on sabreen. Push her out of the way when walking pass her. Ignore her when she cried or wanted something and beat her when she was angry or stressed about something, which happened to be MOST of the time.

As the years went by, sabreen was blamed for everything that went wrong or went missing in the house. She was beaten, abused and neglected.

It was an unfair life that she had to live. But she was a miracle baby and she survived till now, 8 years later.

Tony grew up and realised that she wasn’t his duty anymore. It was totally ‘uncool’ to be seeing to his little sister all the time. He was out more often with friends and had found a job for himself. He was independent and was soon going to move out too.

Posted by silent living…

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