part 24: (nicholas)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

Nick thought his yellow and black radio control helicopter was the most awesome gift he’d ever received, better than any of his x-box or ps games that tasha had given him.

And tom was right, flying it at the park was even better.

There was so much of space and it could go up much higher.. At home it was restricted because of the very low ceiling that they had in the lounge. And tom was well prepared, he even had a mini portable charger incase the battery ran flat.

Nick was so excited about today that he left his heli to charge all through the night so that it wouldn’t need charging at all and he could make a full day out of it.

Tasha unpacked a few chips and sweets that tom had packed into his picnic basket while tom and nick ran around enjoying their toy..

“Boys and their toys!” ShE thought to herself rolling her eyes.

But she didn’t mind at all because nick was finally opening up to someone. He was free and enjoying himself.

She watched, from where she sat, how well nick had caught on to flying the thing. She wished these moments would never end. And she suddenly felt a deep sense of regret for depriving her son of the outdoors all these years. For depriving her son of a good life and for depriving him of a father.

But it was not her fault. Tasha was young and had made so many mistakes which she regretted deeply.

She regretted partying as wildly as she did.. She regretted the strip club phase that she’d gone through in her teens.

She was only 16 and felt the need to make some extra cash since life was tough for her mother. She was a single woman who had to bring tasha and her sister up and provide for them and they barely just made ends tasha and a very good friend of hers began working at a strip club nearby.

She used to meet different men but none caught her attention much in the first 2 years that she worked there. She just did it for the money. She would flirt and enjoy herself teasing the ‘dog hungry’ men that visited the club on a weekly basis.

It was on one specific day just after she’d turned 18 that she was accidentally picked up by a regular visitor at the club. But she liked him because he didn’t go too far at first. He flirted and made her feel special in ways she’d never felt before.

She looked forward to saturday nights where she could meet up with him. And their relationship got more intense within a matter of just 2 weeks.

He was a party animal who always came with friends and on their 4th meeting she got drunk with him and found herself lying in a hotel room the next morning…alone!

She waited for his return but he never came. She waited for him every saturday night at the club, but for weeks he didn’t pitch up.

6 weeks after the incident, tasha found out that she was pregnant. She was devastated, sick and depressed. How could this have happened? She was now pregnant with the child of a man she doesn’t even know properly and probably will never see again in her life…

She considered abortion, but felt guilty to take the life of an innocent child. She decided that she would continue with her pregnancy. She wouldn’t deprive this child of a life and she would change her ways from here on and learn from her mistakes.

Tasha made a decision to stop work at the club and take hold of her life. On the last saturday before she quit, she spotted him in the crowd. He didn’t even feel shy to bring his face back there again but then again, for men, it was all just a game.

She waited for her show to be over and went up to him… She shouldn’t have…. Because as soon as she confessed to him that she was pregnant, he laughed in her face…

“And what makes you think that its mine? For goodness sake woman, you work In a strip club.. You probably sleep with a different man every saturday if not every day.. I’m not crazy to believe that its mine…you most likely con every guy you sleep with like this.. ”

She felt sick…. She was hurt… She had never slept with anyone else before.. She was only 18 and now pregnant.. And the father of the child refuses to accept.. It was her fault for choosing this life.

And that’s when tasha decided to bring her little one up all alone without ever telling him who his father was.

It wasn’t something she was proud of and it wouldn’t be fair to burden nick with such an embarrassment..

Some things are better left unsaid!

Sorry for late post… Network problems and I haven’t forgotten, I still owe you guys 2 more posts…just not getting down to doing them yet,.. But soon inshallah

Posted by silent living…


6 thoughts on “part 24: (nicholas)”

  1. السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَ بَرَكَاتُ
    hope you well Ms.Silentliving***
    it’s been a while ;;)
    After so long have I finally caught up with this blog and I must say jzk for writing another eye-opening blog! It honestly teaches us all so many lessons.
    May Allah reward you** Ameen.
    Take care xx


    1. Wslm my dear sister…
      Was just thinkin about u the other day.. So good to see that you’re still around.. Thought u gave up on me ages ago…;)

      Ameen to ur dua and may Allah grant you all that ur heart desires..ameen!
      Now don’t get lost again…


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