part 38: (hanzalah)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

“My love.. I have been thinking about this for a while.. But I needed your advice first before introducing the idea to hanzalah” naseema spoke to him in urdu.

They often spoke in urdu when they were talking to eachother. Urdu is such a beautiful and sweet language and english just didn’t do justice to their feelings the way urdu did.

“What is it my jaan? Don’t tell me that you want me getting a second wife now” Abdullah asked facing his wife and giving her his full attention.

“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea..” Naseema joked.

“Okay then, conversation over..” Abdullah said playfully and turned away from naseema.

“Come on now.. I’m not kidding. This is more serious than you having a second wife.” Naseema smiled.

Abdullah raised an eyebrow. “Now what can be so important pyaari…?”

“I’ve always had the strength to teach hanzalah myself. But these last 2 years are very crucial for him. Grade 11 especially. And I don’t seem to have the energy to do it any longer. I was thinking of maybe putting him in a school. But hanzalah is so different from other kids, I’m so worried that he won’t cope or that other kids will take advantage of his soft nature” naseema put forward her thoughts.

“Hmmm” abdullah said contemplatively.

Abdullah had a habit of always thinking things through before giving his final opinion. And this wasn’t any different.

“Maybe we should give him a chance to voice his opinions on the matter. I wouldn’t want to force him into anything but being around other kids could do a world of difference for him, especially now. It will make him confident and also teach him to face the world. Eventually he is going to go to university to study and probably work after that and the world is a nasty place and he needs to be prepared for it.” Abdullah finally voiced his opinion.

And so the 2 of them agreed to have a talk with hanzalah the following day.

Once they had told him about their suggestions for his future. He surprisingly wasn’t afraid or angry.

“I’ll give it some thought abba and ummi jaan… Its going to be different and there are going to be a lot of pro’s and cons. I’d like to weigh them both. Can I have some time to think it through?” Hanzalah said respectfully.

“Ofcourse beta. Take your time. You’ve still got another 3 months or so before you complete your 10th grade. So you let us know when you’re ready. But also, keep in mind, that if you wish to attend a school, we would need to find the appropriate school and follow up with registrations etcetera.” Abdullah replied

And so hanzalah thought it through. He resorted to dua. He prayed to Allah for guidance and also drew up his list of pro’s and cons.

His pros were as follows:
*Intermingling and socialising with different people
*Learning in a different environment
*Less stress on ummi
*having proper school examinations which could help him qualify to study at university

His cons were:
*Intermingling of the opposite sex
*exposure to haraam that he hadn’t previously been exposed to
*homework
*bullying at schools
*peer pressure

Even though the cons outweighed the pros, he still gave himself a little bit more time to think things through. He didn’t want to rush into any kind of decision.

He was so used to being home-schooled, he was disciplined enough to study on his own, but maybe having someone teach and tutor him could help in some way.

Most importantly was his ummi. She meant the world to him. Actually both his parents did. And if this is what they wanted for him then he was sure that there was some kind of goodness in it.

Yes there was peer pressure. But he also had a strong background and loving family to help him through the peer pressure inshallah.

He gave it thought for over a month and both abdullah and naseema didn’t pressurise him any further. They knew that he would let them know whenever he was ready.

And so hanzalah was finally ready to make this big decision.

To go to school? Or not go to school? That was the big question

For anyone else this wouldn’t be so important. Actually, it wouldn’t even be a question. But naseema and abdullah had their sons best interests at heart.

Posted by silent living…

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4 thoughts on “part 38: (hanzalah)”

  1. Its so wonderful that they hav a happy, loving and understanding relationship -the parents and children ….. And Hanzalah is soo mature in his thinking ..
    It just shows – that home schooling has plenty of its own advantages too !!!!
    N now … Getting new friends … Hmmmm … Nick and Hanzalah goin to new skools ???? …mayb the same skool … Mayb becoming friends also !!!??? …. We’ll hav2 wait n see …

    جزاك اللهُ خيراً

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well .. In the environment that we live in – we hav2 interact with ppl of all religions and different backgrounds ( like how u mentioned abt university or evn work ) – if there was an islamic skool with an islamic ethos in the area – then I would say that would be better ( I know that many islamic skools hav terrible reputations … But not all …and mingling with muslims is still better for young kids who r very gullible …) But … If there isn’t … Then I wouldn’t think it to b a major problem … If the foundation of the child is strong – if he has been tawt the principles of the deen ( rite from wrong) then it wouldn’t be such a major issue !!!
        And he has a wonderful relationship with his parents – that if he encounters any problem , then he is bound to discuss it with them !!!

        Well .. That’s just my 5 cent opinion … ( Inflation agen Mrs S *wink* ) …
        Lol …

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Gosh… You’re worst than the petrol price with ur inflation.. Your cents seems to be inflating every few hours..lol

        On a serious note though. What you’ve mentioned is spot on with regards to his family support structure. For any child to be sucessful, they nEed to have a strong family that can stand by them and support them whole heartedly…

        Like

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