**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**
“Alice, what’s going to happen to me after I leave this place?” Sabreen asked sadly.
Alice didn’t answer immediately. She didn’t know how to answer her sister. She didn’t know what the right answer really was.
“What do you want to do breeni? Where do you want to go?” Tony asked when alice didn’t answer.
He sat down on the chair beside her bed and pulled it a little closer.
Sabreen shrugged. “I don’t know. Well I do know that I don’t want to go back to mamas house. But I don’t have much of a choice. Do I?”
“Yes you do have a choice breeni. You don’t have to go back there and take all the suffering and remain silent. You have the right to not be there anymore unless things change and trust me, they’ll never change…” Alice said as a matter of fact.
“But then where else will I live? Aunt hilda and uncle mike are probably angry with me for doing all of this. They won’t want me anymore and you and tony can’t manage to keep me with you.. So then what?” Sabreen asked knowing that there was no definite answer to her question.
“You know what.. Don’t worry about it for now. For now just look after yourself and get better and we’ll sort everything out in the meantime.” Tony decided.
Once tony and alice were back at their flat, they tried coming up with a solution.
“Maybe we should just bring her to stay with us..” Alice suggested.
“I realy would love to ally… But I honestly cannot afford to support sabreen financially. My salary is so small, I barely come out at the end of the month.”
“Maybe if you stop wasting it on drugs and intoxicants then we can use it to support our own sister.” Alice snapped out of frustration.
“You have no right to judge me okay!” Tony screamed at her.
“Yes I do.. I’m your sister. And I care about you and I hate that you turning into sam. You may not like what I’m saying. But have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You have piercings in every crazy place and your eyes are forever blood shot. You think I don’t know what you do in your free time? Well I do… I know that if you don’t stop, you’re going to turn into sam really soon…..” Alice shouted back and then retreated to her room and shut the door closed.
she didn’t mean to scream at him. But she was frustrated. They both were so young and always had so much of responsibility in their lives. They were made to grow up earlier than is expected and its really getting to her.
Why did she have to have such pathetic parents?
Why did she have to deal with all that went on at home?
Why was she made to be an adult when she was only a teenager?
How is she supposed to deal all alone with this great issue?
What is the right step to take?
How can sam and beth continue to do what they do and still sleep peacefully at night?
She was so angry at the world. She was angry at the way things had turned out and she blamed herself for not doing something about it sooner. But now she was not going to allow her brother to go down the same aisle. She cared too much about him. But maybe he too is having a hard time dealing with all the neglect and poverty that they grew up in.
After she had calmed down abit, she felt bad for shouting at him the way she did. She wanted to apologise.
She took a deep breath and walked to tonys room.
Tony had the music blasting in his ears so he didn’t even realise that alice had walked in.
Alice pulled the earphones off his ears gently and sat down beside him.
She didn’t know how to start so she just looked down for a while.
Tony didn’t look at her. He stared straight ahead and an awkward silence filled the air.
Neither of them wanted to say the first words but then eventually alice spoke: “I’m sorry tony…”
And then there was silence again.
“Its just… I’m scared.. And I care about you.. I don’t want you to become him” alice whispered as she was unable to talk any louder.
“You think its easy for me? You think I’ve never thought of how much I’m becoming like him? You think I like living the way I’m living?” Tony said still staring ahead.
“I hate it. I hate life. I hate living. I hate being alone and I hate not having someone to love and care for me. I hate that I can’t be there for my sisters. I hate that I’m useless. I hate that I can’t support you guys and I hate that I had to catch him almost raping sabreen. But you know what I hate the most? I hate beth and sam…. I hate them alice. I’ve hated them my whole life but as I grow older, I hate them even more each day….”
Alice looked up at tonys angry face and noticed a tear falling down his cheeks.
She put a comforting hand on his…
“You’re not alone bro….. We’re in it together. They’ve messed up our lives by neglecting us but we can make a difference. Maybe not to them, but to eachother and to ourselves.”
Posted by silent living…
Posted by silent living…