part 139: (nicholas+hanzalah)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

The minute tasha laid her eyes on nick, tears began pouring down he face. She grabbed him to her and hugged him so tight that nick thought he was going to suffocate.

He wasn’t used to this type of affection so he didn’t return the hug. He just stood awkwardly with his hands hanging on the side.

She held on to him for so long until nick couldn’t take it anymore and pushed away gently. He still couldn’t look up at her.

Tasha took nicks face in both of her hands and kissed him on his forehead.
“Don’t ever run away again nicko. Don’t ever torture me like this.”

Nick was still trembling. Either out of anxiety or withdrawal symptoms.

“Come on… Let’s go home.. Please let’s just go home and start all over again.”

Nick sighed. Still not meeting her gaze. And then walked to the lounge to sit down.
“I can’t mum.. I.. I don’t know what to do.. I can’t just come home”

“Why not?”

“Because… I’ve messed up mum”

“So? You’re going to live… Here?”

She said it as if he were living in a broken down shack.

And nick hoped that hanzalah wasn’t anywhere nearby to hear the disgust in tashas voice at their humble abode.

“Mum! These people have really looked after me. Please have some respect for them. They may not live in a grand house like we do, but they’re happy.. I can’t say the same about where I come from!”

“Oh! And where do you come from nicko? I’ve always given you everything of the best..”

“everything in life isn’t about material stuff ma… Why can’t you just understand.. I have everything but I’m unhappy. I hate my life. I’ve always hated my life. You never sit and ask me if I’m happy or not or what makes me happy. You always just assume that I’m okay because I’ve got everything that money can buy.”

Tasha looked run down by what nick said.

“Can’t we go home and talk this through? I’ll give you all my time and we’ll sort everything out. I don’t feel comfortable discussing all our private matters in a strangers home.”

Nick shook his head.
“They’re not strangers if they’ve opened up their home and their hearts for me. And I can’t go home until I’ve cleared everything up with you first.”

“Go home nicholas. For your mothers sake… Go home and make peace!”

Tasha and nick both looked up and found hanzalah in the doorway.

“Hello ma’am” hanzalah greeted humbly without looking directly at tasha.

“Err.. Hi… You must be nicks friend. How will I ever thank you and your family for keeping my son safe?”

She got up to walk towards hanzalah. But hanzalah put his hand up slightly and she got the hint not to go any closer.
“No need to thank us ma’am. Nick is a good boy. And we’ll do anything to help at anytime. Our doors are always open for him but I think its best if he goes home with you and the 2 of you discuss all your matters in private. And hopefully everything can get sorted out.”

“Thank you! You’re a very wise young man!”

Nick smiled up at hanzalah “he definitely is!”


“So nicko? Are you coming home? Please?” Tasha took his hand and held on tight like her entire life depended on it.

Nick held hanzalah gaze and he knew from the look in hanzalahs eyes that he needed to go home. Sooner or later he had to. Now seemed like a good time. And nick trusted hanzalah with his life. He always gave him the right advice.

“Ma… Can you just give me a few minutes alone with hanzalah? I’ll meet you in the car in a few minutes.”

Tashas face broke into a huge smile and her entire body showed relief. “Ofcourse son. Take your time. I’ll wait outside…”

She turned to hanzalah again.
“Thank you so much again young man.”

“Hanzalah” nick told her.

“Err… Han.. Z.. Zaalaa..” She stuttered. “And thank you so much to your family. Please tell your mum and dad I said so. ”

“Will do ma’am” hanzalah nodded.

Tasha walked out of the house towards the car and closed the door behind her giving hanzalah and nick their privacy.

Authors note:
Jazakallah so much to everyone for not giving up on me, for liking the posts and for those who take the time to comment. I truly appreciate it all. It may seem like I don’t read the comments. But I do. I look very forward to seeing likes and comments come through to my e-mail.
So please keep them coming and always keep me and my family in your special duas.
Lots of love..
Bibi ayesha

Posted by silent living…


part 138: (nicholas)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

Tasha rushed back into the car. She quickly typed out the address on her GPS that nick had told her before she could forget. And when it appeared on her screen, she thought ‘that’s just nearby. My baby is so close to me and I didn’t even know. I really hope these people are taking good care of him.’

She put her car into reverse and reversed out of the driveway..

She drove in such a speed, not caring about the way she was driving. All she could think about was nick. And whether he was okay or not. She was so afraid of not getting there in time. What if he changed his mind and decided to run away again?

She needed to get there quick. She was beginning to get very anxious as she took a right turn into the street of the address that nick gave her.

‘Drive 200 metres and Your destination will be on the right.” Her GPS called out.

Her heart began beating faster now that she was so close to being reunited with her son.

“You have reached your destination” the annoying gps called out again.

Tashas forehead creased in confusion. ‘This can’t possibly be the place. Nick must have given the wrong number.’

She reversed a little to see if maybe she missed the house. Maybe the GPS was wrong.

But she distinctly remembered nick saying the number. She drove forward again and looked at the house with the number nick had given.

‘Oh no! It can’t be. How must my poor son be surviving in such a place? Its so…. Small and…. Simple and ‘

Tasha had expected a modern house all safe and secure with palm trees around it maybe. Not a simple abode like the one infront of her which barely had a proper fencing around it, forget electric fence or security guards and an intercom.

She looked at her phone and contemplated whether she should call the number that nick had called from. Just to double check that she was at the right place.

It rang once and then twice before someone answered in a weird language.
“Assalamu alaykum”

“Err… Hi.. Could I speak to… Err.. Nicholas?”

There was silence for a few seconds and she wasn’t sure what was going on but then she heard nicks voice on the other end.

“Nicky baby. I’m not sure if I’m at the right house..”

“Yes you are mum. Just come into the driveway and come to the side door. I see your car from the window.”

She sighed.. “Okay. See you in a bit”

After nick had put the phone down with his mum. He began shaking uncontrollably. Hanzalah had somehow convinced him that the only way to solve the problem would be to face it head on.

“You can’t hide forever nicholas. We honestly don’t mind keeping you in our home for as long as you wish. But the reality is that at some point either someone is going to find you or something worse can happen. So to avoid that, just man up and call your mum. Explain everything to her. A mother is a mother. She loves you and cares for you no matter what you do in your life. She’ll always forgive you and look past your mistakes. You are lucky to have a mother. I would do anything to get my mother back here. To care for me and even scold me for the little things I do. But the truth is, that she’s gone… Forever… Don’t leave it like this and regret later nick. Call her!”

And that’s how nick ended up calling tasha. He was so relieved when she didn’t answer at first. But then when she did, strangely he felt a deep sense of emotion within him that he never knew he had.

Hanzalah had to get him some sugar water to calm down because of how he was sweating and shaking. It was probably the stress and the withdrawal symptoms. This is the longest he’s ever gone without a fix and it was driving him insane. If he wasn’t in hanzalahs house, he would have thrown and broken something around him.

So when nick heard a car outside. His mouth went dry and he could feel his heart beating all over his body. He had severe palpitations. He knew that it was tashas car and he watched as she reversed and the drove back again.

After she called and he reassured her that she was at the correct house. He stood at the door and waited for tasha to get off the car.

He took a deep breath in. Steady his hands on the door handle and opened the door for his mother.

Posted by silent living…

part 137: (sabreen)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

Before the phone could even start ringing, sabreen put it off.

‘ What am I doing? What am I supposed to tell her? What if she doesn’t even remember who I am?’ She thought to herself.

She shook her head at how silly she was being and retreated back to her room.

She lay back on the bed in the same position she was for most of the morning..
‘I desperately need a life. I cannot possibly sit around like this everyday’

Its the holidays and sabreen was supposed to be out of the country on a grand holiday. Usually its not a problem because she’s occupied with school work and the lessons that her tutor comes home to give.

She contemplated unpacking her bags. It will give her something to do… But then A light bulb switched on in her head and she once again jumps off the bed and runs to the phone.

sabreen picks it up and dials, but the phone just rings and rings. She tries for a second time but it continues to ring until it reaches voicemail.

Despondent, sabreen puts the phone back down but before she could turn around and go back to her room again, it rings and startles her.

She doesn’t like answering the phone. She always had a worry that beth or sam would be calling. But today she was alone and had no other option but to answer.


“Hey breeni! I had my phone on silent because I was in a lecture and forgot to change it after I was done. Sorry, I missed your call.”

“Its cool.. What are you doing?” Sabreen let out a sigh of relief.

“I was just heading out to grab some food. You?”

Sabreen giggled.. “you mean a hamburger? From that take away again?”

Alice giggled and sabreen could picture her rolling her eyes with a slight blush to her cheeks.

“I’m actually hoping you’re going down there. ” Sabreen said seriously.


“Cos… I’ve been thinking… Since my holidays are all spoilt now and aunt hildas not going to be around since…. You know what…. Maybe I should occupy myself this holiday. Maybe I should take on that offer your friend put forward.”

“My friend?hah!…. But Will you manage breeni? You’ve never ever worked anywhere before.”

They both knew that sabreen had a problem of lack of self confidence and there’s a lot of people that come in to the restaurant everyday.

“I know… But I could try… And if it doesn’t work out, atleast I tried?”

“Okay. Why don’t you talk to aunt hilda and uncle mike today and see what they say?… I could use some company right now since your brothers gone all MIA”

“Ok love you……. I’ll speak to them late tonight and see if they agree”

“Breeni!” Alice stopped her from hanging up.


“How are you?”

Sabreen giggled.. “You’re supposed to ask me how I am in the beginning of the conversation. Not the end alice”

“You know what I mean… How are you about beth and…. You know, your holiday having being cancelled and stuff?”

Sabreen sighed “what can I do? They’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. No matter where I am or what I do…”


“Are you going to… You know.. Go to the hospital to see her?” Sabreen asked carefully.

“Never! I hate her.. I hate them both and whatever she’s going through… She deserves every bit of it. I don’t get why aunt hilda had to play mother theresa in all this. After everything she did. ”

“I guess that’s aunt hilda. She’s just a good person. As long as she’s not forcing us into anything.”

“Ok, I’ll call you later k… I’m at the restaurant now”

“Have fun!” Sabreen giggled and they both knew what she meant.

Posted by silent living…

part 136: (sabreen)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

‘Life is so unfair’ sabreen thought that night. She was right. She couldn’t get any sleep. Not because she was excited about the vacation anymore, but because of the drama that had to pop-up all of a sudden.

It was so unfair to her. Out of all the times in this year, beth had to bring on her drama now. Couldn’t it wait until they’re left for their holiday?

So now, while everyone elses lives were going on, here was sabreen, stuck again.

Her blood was boiling. She was beyond angry. Why was happiness such a far fetched thing for her?

Why was it that everyone else in the world could do as they wished, when they wished and nothing would ever come in their way. But whenever she thought that she was finally stable and finding happiness, BANG!!! It all blows up in her face.

Now while hilda goes up and down to the hospital, she was stuck In the house. Yes, she had an option of accompanying hilda. But in no way was she going to choose to see beth OR sam again.

It would just bring back all the terrible memories she had hidden somewhere far away.

Her psychologist did tell her to face the problem. To face beth and sam. And to find complete closure from her past. But it was all too fresh and too painful.

Yes, maybe in time she will figure out how to get closure. But for now, she wasn’t ready. She was still very weak and not completely in control of herself or her feelings. Everything felt too raw inside her.

She still hated beth and sam. She didn’t care less that beth was dying somewhere in some hospital. Infact, she was glad that he tables had turned and that beth was suffering right now instead of her. And sam who was always so full of pride had to come running to the people he caused the most hurt to. For all the hell they put their kids through, today they were alone. They had 3 children but they actually had none.

Mike decided to just go back to work so that he could use his leave days when they eventually do go on their vacation. Instead of wasting it sitting at home.

So that left sabreen all to her lonely self.

She wasn’t one for much TV… She didn’t find any pleasure in watching other peoples dramas all the time. Ocassionally maybe.. But not all the time. And cartoons were actually quite silly now that she thought about it.

Her craft boards and paint sets were all packed up somewhere deep in the attic and she was in no mood to go looking for it.

After eating breakfast and clearing up, she retreated to her room and lay annoyed on her bed.

She stared at the ceiling wondering what to do with her life. She couldn’t just sit around waiting for happiness to find her. She needed some kind of purpose in her life.

She put her hands up to rest under her head and that’s when she felt her rosary on the pillow.

She pulled it infront her and dangled it above her face for a while thinking about the lady that gifted it to her.

She had bigger worries at the time. But she was so strong.

It was her faith. she had a purpose in life.

Sabreen often thought about naseema. But she never had the courage to ever call her.

Maybe today would be a great day…

Sabreen threw her legs off the bed in haste and rushed to her closet where she searched frantically through her belonging for the little piece of paper where naseemas number had been written.

‘There we go!’ She said smiling to herself after 20 minutes of rummaging through every item in her drawers.

Sabreen proceeded to the phone and began dialling.

Posted by silent living…

part 135: (nicholas)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

“I’m losing my mind and all you can tell me is you’re trying????? Well you’re not trying hard enough! My son is missing for days already and there’s nothing you guys have done thus far!”

The officers at the police station were so used to tasha. Ever since nicks disappearance, she’s been in and out nagging them to do something.

They’ve opened up a missing person document and they’ve passed the word around. What more can they do? To them, there’s more serious things happening in the world. There’s people speeding on the roads that’s more important and ofcourse that necessity of checking on foreigners papers too. But a missing kid isn’t all that important to them.

So they sit behind their desks ignoring tashas ranting and raving.

She feels lost and despondent. How will she live without her only child? She feels alone. Tom has become so distant and uninterested in her. Actually they haven’t spoken ever since their argument the other day.

They’ve still been sleeping in separate rooms. He makes no effort whatsoever to apologise and neither does tasha. But eventually she knows that she’ll be the one to bow down and say she’s sorry.

Tasha forgot her cellphone at home in all the rush. So when she got home after another day of nagging them at the police station, she found 3 miscalls from a number she didn’t recognise.

By now all the angry parents had already called so she was hoping that it wasn’t one more. She had enough of everyones scolding and insults.

So when her phone began to ring again with the same number flashing on the screen, she contemplated whether she should answer or not.

She braced herself for yet another persons swearing, sighed and answered.

“Hello, tasha speaking..”



*silence again*

She was about to put the phone down when she heard an all too familiar voice.. A voice she’s been dying to hear in the couple of days that passed.


“NiCK!!!l nick baby?where are you? Are you okay? Oh nick please come home. Whatevers happened is over and done with. We can sort things out. Please son, just come home. I’m losing it here without you”


“Nick! Where are you son? Tell me and I’ll come right now to fetch you..”

“I can’t…”

“You can’t what? Please nicky… Just tell me! I’m not angry with you. I know you’ve made a mistake. Please just come home baby”

Nick sighed loudly… He knew he had to phone his mother but he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her. He wasn’t even sure if he was ready to go home yet. But hanzalah had convinced him that it was the right thing to do.. So before putting the phone down, he gave his mother the address and then waited impatiently for her to arrive.

He was afraid that she would come with the cops.

What if they took away and put him in jail?

Would she hit him?

Tasha never lifted her hand up on nick before. But would this be his first time?

But she sounded genuinely concerned about him. She wounded like she was in major distress. And nick felt even more guilty for all that he’d done.

Hanzalah put his hand on nicks shoulder. “Don’t worry nicholas. Everything will be fine. Maybe things will change from here on. But everything will get better eventually.”

Nick smiled weakly “thanks nerd boy. Thanks a lot! I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank you for everything.”

“No need to thank me. Our doors are always open for you nicholas. Anytime you need anything, we’re here to help.”

And that’s when the doorbell rang. Tasha had arrived.

Posted by silent living…

part 134: (sabreen)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

Alice just dozed off after putting her books away when she was suddenly awoken by a sound.

She moaned and turned to the other side hoping that the sound would stop. But it didn’t. It went on and on.

She jolted herself up and took in her surroundings first.

‘Oh I’m in my room’ she thought once she got her bearings straight. And then the sound started again.

‘Goodness! Its my cellphone… I’m totally losing it!’

She grabbed her phone from the side table and stared at the time first… ’12:15?’

She answered her phone without checking who was calling this late at night before it could stop ringing again.

“Ahem… Hello?”

“Alice! Sweety…I’m so sorry to wake you!”

“Aunt hilda? Is everything okay? Is sabreen okay?”

She couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her little sister. But why else would hilda be calling her this late at night? and besides, she sounded like she was in a panic.

“Sabreens fine alice. I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news..”

“What is it aunt hilda? What happened?”

She was beginning to get a little impatient. Could hilda not just get straight to the point instead of beating around the bush?

“Its your….. Its beth.. She’s in hospital. In ICU actually”

Alice calmed down a little. she’s probably the worst person in the world to be relieved that her mother was in hospital. But beth wasn’t much of a mother anyway.

“Oh!” Was all she could say.

“There was a break in at their place and apparently sam was out for the night. She was alone and was badly beaten. By the time sam got home, she was already unconscious. She lost a lot of blood and they had to rush her to the nearest public hospital.”

Alice listened quietly. She felt nothing. No sympathy whatsoever. She listened like it was a strangers tale being told to her.

“Alice? Are you there?”

“Yes I’m listening.”

“We’re going to have to postpone our trip.. I’m heading to the hospital. She’s alone. She’ll obviously need someone there.”

Hilda sounded tired.

“Why you? I’m sure sam is there. Hasn’t she hurt you enough?”

“She is my sister alice. And I do still love her. What kind of a sister would I be if I can’t be there for her in such a time?”

Alice didn’t reply.

“Anyway.. I just called to relay the news to you. Thought you should know what’s going on. I’ll keep you updated…”


And with that, they hung up.

Alice tossed and turned for the rest of the night. Just when she thought she had made herself strong and could move on with her life, her parents had to be brought back into it. Did she have to know what was going on with beth?

She silently prayed that beth would suffer before she finally leaves this world. She hated her for all the hell she put her through.

For all she cared, it was most probably sam that beat her to this state. Maybe there was no robbery in the first place. There hasn’t ever been one before this. The neighbourhood was pretty safe uptil now apart from sam the drunkard that interfered with everyone.

But what did she know. She’s been away for so long, maybe everything had changed.

She thought about sabreen. How was she taking the news? Sabreen was so excited to go on her first holiday and now her sickening and good for nothing parents had to come in the way of her happiness once again.

Before she knew it, it was already time to get ready for class. Alice dragged herself to the bathroom and had a cool shower to wash away her exhaustion. And after making her bed and clearing up all over, she made her way to campus.

Posted by silent living…

part 133: (nicholas)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

“What’s going on nick? I need to know what’s happening… I haven’t asked because I felt like it wasn’t my business..but I could get into major trouble at school just for keeping you here”

“What do you mean at school? Why would you get into trouble?”

“Because…. Everyones looking for you. I thought whatever happened had to do with home. I didn’t know it was more serious than that…”

Nick dropped his head in his hands and took a deep breath….
“I’m in big trouble nerd boy… Big trouble.. I’ve messed up big time and there’s no way of fixing this”

Hanzalah remained silent. Waiting for a better explanation.

“I was never like this. I was different before we moved to this town. I preferred being on my own. I didn’t have friends but I was better off. But my life has always been too lonely. My mum worked and I don’t have siblings. I don’t have a father. my mother was a single parent. I don’t even know who my real father is or whether he’s still alive or not. My mother never thought it necessary to ever tell me. Then she got married and we moved here. Don’t get me wrong. Tom is a good guy. But he took my mother further away from me. Whatever little time we had together, he was now in the picture. I craved companionship so when kev and company came into my life, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to feel important. I wanted to be a someone, not a no-one. I wanted to be known and loved. I wanted to know what it felt like to be loved and cared for. I craved attention. And I got it.. In all the wrong ways. Girls were throwing themselves at me. They were impreSsed with all the money I had. technically it wasn’t my money, but it impressed them and I enjoyed every bit of all the attention. I joined them for all the parties and….”

Nick was having second thoughts about telling hanzalah about his dark days and grave secrets. What if hanzalah judged him and kicked him out too?

All the while talking, nick never looked up at hanzalah, he was afraid of finding a disappointed face.

But now he slowly raised his eyes and when they met hanzalahs, he didn’t find disappointment or anger. He found ease and comfort and so he continued.

“And I was introduced to some stuff…”

He looked up again to find hanzalahs forehead crease up in confusion.

Nick sighed again. “Bad stuff…. Drugs, smoking , drinking. I enjoyed the way I felt while taking it. I forgot about all the pain I previously felt. I was happy, or so I thought. I guess it just numbed all the pain. But soon I got used to it. It wasn’t having the same effect on me. I needed something more. Something stronger. And my girlfriend kelly introduced that to me. But she warned me to get help and not become dependant on it. I didn’t like what she said. It annoyed me so I started distancing myself from her. I used her whenever I nEeded more.

Eventually I decided that I needed more and more money and I was running out…. Yeah! I know what you must be thinking. I have so much but my money was running out…. Well this crap is expensive.. So I started taking from my mothers wallet. And from her savings.”

Still there was no sign of judging in hanzalahs expression and that gave nick the ease to go on further.

“I wanted more attention. And wanted everyone in school to envy me. To think I’m the coolest kid ever. Recognition!.. And so I planned this HUGE party. Like the ones we go to almost every weekend. It was on saturday.. And it was wild. My parents were out of town on some business trip, so I had the house to myself. Kelly and I went all out planning. Everyone had to bring a friend and a drink… Err.. Like alcohol you know?”

“But aren’t you underage for that? I may not know much but I see the posters, no 18 and under… Right?”

“Exactly… And that’s why I’m in so much of crap. Someone called the cops and I ran… Like a coward, I ran away. There was drugs and drinks and partying going on in my house and every illegal thing possible and I ran when they said the cops were coming”

Hanzalah was silent. He was in deep thought. He was never exposed to this type of thing. It all sounded too far fetched for him. The thought crossed his mind that maybe nick was exaggerating a little, but then he thought ‘why would he?’

It all made sense now. Why everyones been looking for him and it was such a serious thing.

But this could get hanzalah in a lot of trouble. What was he to do? Do they really need all this trouble in their lives?

Shouldn’t he just get rid of nick? And carry on with life?

Or was this his opportunity to help nick out of this and show him what’s right and wrong?

Posted by silent living…