part 136: (sabreen)

**”Bismillahir rahmaanir raheem”
-in the name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful-**

‘Life is so unfair’ sabreen thought that night. She was right. She couldn’t get any sleep. Not because she was excited about the vacation anymore, but because of the drama that had to pop-up all of a sudden.

It was so unfair to her. Out of all the times in this year, beth had to bring on her drama now. Couldn’t it wait until they’re left for their holiday?

So now, while everyone elses lives were going on, here was sabreen, stuck again.

Her blood was boiling. She was beyond angry. Why was happiness such a far fetched thing for her?

Why was it that everyone else in the world could do as they wished, when they wished and nothing would ever come in their way. But whenever she thought that she was finally stable and finding happiness, BANG!!! It all blows up in her face.

Now while hilda goes up and down to the hospital, she was stuck In the house. Yes, she had an option of accompanying hilda. But in no way was she going to choose to see beth OR sam again.

It would just bring back all the terrible memories she had hidden somewhere far away.

Her psychologist did tell her to face the problem. To face beth and sam. And to find complete closure from her past. But it was all too fresh and too painful.

Yes, maybe in time she will figure out how to get closure. But for now, she wasn’t ready. She was still very weak and not completely in control of herself or her feelings. Everything felt too raw inside her.

She still hated beth and sam. She didn’t care less that beth was dying somewhere in some hospital. Infact, she was glad that he tables had turned and that beth was suffering right now instead of her. And sam who was always so full of pride had to come running to the people he caused the most hurt to. For all the hell they put their kids through, today they were alone. They had 3 children but they actually had none.

Mike decided to just go back to work so that he could use his leave days when they eventually do go on their vacation. Instead of wasting it sitting at home.

So that left sabreen all to her lonely self.

She wasn’t one for much TV… She didn’t find any pleasure in watching other peoples dramas all the time. Ocassionally maybe.. But not all the time. And cartoons were actually quite silly now that she thought about it.

Her craft boards and paint sets were all packed up somewhere deep in the attic and she was in no mood to go looking for it.

After eating breakfast and clearing up, she retreated to her room and lay annoyed on her bed.

She stared at the ceiling wondering what to do with her life. She couldn’t just sit around waiting for happiness to find her. She needed some kind of purpose in her life.

She put her hands up to rest under her head and that’s when she felt her rosary on the pillow.

She pulled it infront her and dangled it above her face for a while thinking about the lady that gifted it to her.

She had bigger worries at the time. But she was so strong.

It was her faith. she had a purpose in life.

Sabreen often thought about naseema. But she never had the courage to ever call her.

Maybe today would be a great day…

Sabreen threw her legs off the bed in haste and rushed to her closet where she searched frantically through her belonging for the little piece of paper where naseemas number had been written.

‘There we go!’ She said smiling to herself after 20 minutes of rummaging through every item in her drawers.

Sabreen proceeded to the phone and began dialling.

Posted by silent living…


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