It took time for nick to get used to being home again. It took more time for him to gain his confidence back and it took even longer for nick to finally agree on leaving the house and go out in public.
And even though he eventually agreed and tagged behind his mother and tom, he was paranoid. Paranoid that everyone that looked at him, looked down upon him. That everyone thought that he was the guy that caused all the ruckus not long ago. That he was the rich and spoilt kid that had it all and messed up big time.
He felt like the one whom parents often warned their kids about. Like the one envied by the bad guys and judged by the good ones.
He felt low and terrible that he was a failure while everyone else around his age had succeeded.
He didnt complete school. He had nothing to his name… not even a father.
He looked down for most of his outings. And even when they occasionally took him out to eat, he kept his focus on the menu and then the food and then leaving.
Tasha and tom almost always ate at upper class restaurants. Those where everyone was well off and nothing on the menu was under a hundred bucks. Just not nicks style. But he had no choice. He just had to follow or hole himself in his room which was beginning to work on his nerves.
He wasnt allowed any phonecalls yet and he wondered if anyone would even bother to call if he was allowed any.
He had no friends. No true friends at all.
Except for hanzalah. But hanzalah had probably forgotten about him. Hanzalah was probably done with school and enjoying the free life at campus. Although, hanzalah wasnt the type to enjoy freedom or take advantage of it. But atleast he had a life, unlike nick.
After many outings to fancy restaurants, tasha finally asked..
Nicko! Why do you always play with your food when we go out instead of eating it?
Nick dropped his fork in frustration.
Maybe cos im not cut out for such a laa dee daa life ma. You dont ever ask me what i want to eat or where i want to eat.. you always just assume that im so upper class like you.
And he stormed out to get some air. He felt bad once he cooled down because its been months since he snapped at tasha like that. But why did she always think that money and expensive stuff could buy happiness?
Nick craved some cheap junk food. Like a hamburger and boring strawberry milkshake with fries… instead of prawn cocktail and roast lamb with some fancy mocktail.
Once he cooled down he walked back in and took a seat and sighed.
Im sorry mum… i didnt mean to snap
Tasha smiled and placed a comforting hand on nicks…
Its okay son.. i understand. Tomorrow nick and i are taking you to the mall. We can spend the entire day doing anything you like even if its spending hours playing games and doing whatever you feel like and then grabbing a quick meal after. But its your day. Think it through and by morning let us know what youd like to do okay?
Nick didnt know what he wanted to do. Or did he? He just wanted a normal life. He wanted his life back. Minus the drugs and crap.
As they entered the mall, nick felt a little claustrophobic. Again thoughts of everyone judging him crossed his mind.
When little kids looked at him he thought theyd be afraid of him.
When teeenagers walked past talking in what seemed to him as hushed tones, he assumed they were talking about him.
When adults walked past he thought they looked at him with disgust. He couldnt take it.
Tasha shouted a little louder to get his attention.
I was asking what youd like to do first?
Oh… erm… im kinda hungry. Could we maybe grab something to eat first?
Sure… what did you have in mind?
Maybe a ham burger and milkshake if thats okay?
Nick thought that maybe he would feel a little better and ready to face everyone. But as he entered the little restaurant he was so used to, it was packed with youngsters his age and older aswel as a few younger. He didnt realise that it was the school holidays and that the place would be so full.
And again he felt comsumed. Everyones eyes were judging him. Until his eyes landed on hers… the only eyes that were so soft, sincere and non judgemental. Something about her eyes just made him relax and forget all that he felt before.
Posted by bibi ayesha