“Dear nicky… im hoping that you would open up and read this letter of mine even though i dont deserve it in the least. Ive always wanted the best for you in your life. You were the only constant in my life. I had made so many mistakes in the past that had cost me my life. It damaged me and i guess i was afraid that you too would make certain mistakes in your life that would ruin everything for you.
I was young when i made my mistakes, just like you… and that threw me in the deep end, forcing me to become an adult long before i should have. All my dreams had been crushed and i had to take a different direction.
If there was one thing i was never regretful about in my past… it was the decision to keep you.
Yes it was tough many times. Juggling so many things and trying hard not to neglect you. But now ive realised that i did. I neglected you nicky. I damaged your life just as much as i had damaged my own.
I often feel like its too late… but today i want to believe that its not too late. That i can start all over. I can love you all over again… i can trust you and believe in you.
This road wont be easy… but if we believe and trust eachother, we can get through this.
So to start off afresh.. heres a lovely breakfast. The best i could do… you know how im not very domesticated…
You will also find your phone… the old simcard was unfortunately destroyed a long time ago… but i have a new one for you. I know this phone isnt the latest and you are used to the latest in technology… but once you find a job… you are free to sell this one and upgrade. I could buy a new one for you, but id rather you work for it than get everything easy so you can value it more.
Next to that is the set of keys to the old set of wheels in the garage…also not the best…but its atleast better than nothing… and tom has made sure that its still running fine. The garage remote is there too so you can enter the house and leave as you wish…
I am giving you wings…use it nicky ..fly as high as you can… but in the right direction.
And dont ever forget… i love you with every part of me…
Hugs and kisses….mum!”
I know ive posted already for today. But i just felt like adding a little more… its very short …but its got alot of depth to it…so just enjoy and PLEASE remember me in your duas everyone….